Unfortunately, there seems to be nothing I can do when she feels down. Im really hurt, I know Im losing her, I am starting to become, once again, insecure, isolated, anxious. Hi everyone She says she feels okay when she clearly doesnt, when I give her a hug during this time, she tenses up, keeps shaking her head, and really hates herself for the way she is. No one feels superior or inferior to the other." About me and my girlfriend! She is very complexed about her weight, her mental issues and the time she has lost in her life. Shes struggled to be present at her job, and isnt able to meet deadlines or pass things in on time. Everything i could say would create a problem and everything was my fault. She might even need help to physically move some of the bigger items out (like a couch). Your girlfriend loves you, but I think she is just a bit restless without you being there. He would only talk and see me when he had nothing else to do but I was okay with that I was inlove with him. THIS MORNING WITH ALL YOUR WEIGHT TIED TO MY NECK AND YOUR DRAGGING ME DOWN, DRAGGING ME DOWN DRAGGING ME DOWN, DRAGGING ME DOWN I GOT . I have a problem and cant find anyone to tell Found that website and the posts here are very similar to mine. I feel for you all. When I asked her what she thinks about the future, she said it wont be happiness and that it is impossible to be happy, and that she never imagine about our relationship anymore. Here are 10 who are holding you down. I didnt know about it. We had a lot of fun together and while she did have some mental health issues, it never caused too many problems. We all have to remain positive people. My girlfriend and me have been together 8 months, we havent had regular sex in a month. She doesnt want to leave me either, because if she does she says she will kill herself. Atlast I hate the word LOVE with cry. The couple times I have plucked up the courage to leave she has done drastic forms of self harm. i feel it but i but i just cant deal with being her friend in school and more outside, i cant do it in school. Remember the love bit. I feel you. Thank you for sharing. Having your sh$t together isnt exactly essential for survival anymore. Hi everyone, It may be time to step back and focus on yourself. "My problem is that since we have moved in together, she is negative about everything." My girlfriend and I have been together for three years. Those are the moments you should be focusing on, that is the person that youre in a relationship with. As I read your comments I am beginning to understand what my boyfriend feels. We started dating and since after 2 months shes been depressed. My girlfriend has been depressed for a number of years, unable to shake feelings of sadness and hopelessness that carry. If I talk in a neutral tone or raise my voice even slightly she says I am scary and becomes inconsolable. To pull something or someone from a higher to a lower position: She dragged down the boxes from the attic. "Relationships characterized by constant conflict, fighting, and lack of forgiveness are a recipe for disaster," Opperman says. Help is available, and we wish you the best of luck in your search. Compatibility Mechanical: 64 Bit (x64) If you have any of these friends, you should reconsider that relationship. There must be fond memories. If you're being dragged down by your partner, it could be due to cheating, or emotional abuse, or a lack of support. I dont know if you know Jesus, and sorry if I sound like a religious nutcase now but Im really trying to help you. Now I am questioning myself whether to leave her or hold her.whether she ll feel better later on if I suppose leave her. Thinking that you will solve the problem will only make you more and more frustrated. Been experiencing something very similar in my relationship, I have been helping my girlfriend with her anxiety and depression for years as well and its been so long that often I feel down and hopeless too. Learn how to be supportive if need be and get counseling yourself. You're looking older but you can't be certain. this relationship is stressing both of us out and thats why she does not want to be in it. How wrong! I try not to put pressure on her to be a certain way or accomplish a certain thing in a given day, but when the time comes when there is actually a really important thing she needs to do, and shes not able to do it, i feel i end up hurting her and not helping. I am not sure if Im still with her for love, for the codependency that has definitely developed or simply because I have been doing this so long I dont know any different, I have almost the exact same problem. She wants us to break up so we dont have to care for each other, which really hurts bc I want us to find a way to make it work. We need ways to keep the flame and love alive. Stress can cause all sorts of problems. When you've had too much on your plate for a long time, behaviors in your partner that would normally be slightly irritating can feel like major disruptions to your peace of mind. "Healthy, happy relationships are where both partners meet each others' physical and emotional needs," says relationship etiquette expert Mara Opperman, in an interview with Bustle. Please know there is hope, and help is available. There is more to life than this, trust me. Things we fine for few months then i noticed our sex life taking the down hill road. Trying to fix it on yours own either no optional. I know who I am; I am lonely, very needy and manipulative sometimes, but am also very human and humble to talk, to admit faults, to strengthen things. Im in a LDR myself too although I have never met her IRL. How do I approach the situation without hurting her feelings/making her feel bad? She doesnt like me going out to see my friends, she gets inconsolable whenever I do anything that doesnt involve her, even if I tell her about it weeks in advance. 2. Im so hurt lately, and she doesnt give it a mind, and she doesnt barely talk to me on the late days. From hair trends to relationship advice, our daily newsletter has everything you need to sound like a person whos on TikTok, even if you arent. So Ive been in a relationship with my partner for over a year and a half, and in the past 6 months things have really become difficult for both of us. This girl was everything I wanted, such a good partner, listener, so smart, sensitive. All rights reserved. Totally agree with your comment. My advise to you would be: Dont be too stressed out about it. I tried to break up with her but,she couldnt let me ago, how cant she,shes been saying were drifting apart were nothing you dont care about me just stop it.and now shes depressed,or think she is, and Im the one getting all the thoughts all the sadness. Everything is about your partner. We do love each other, but her depression, mixed with her anxiety about our future as parents of the same child, is becoming too much for me to remain hopeful. I took on too much. Also over the years I have cancelled so many plans with friends to take time to help her that I have lost contact and have become depressed myself about my loneliness. I told her that i love her and i would never leave her, i forgave her cuz she lied to me, i told her that if i was with right now i would give her a hug and a kiss. I have thought about leaving, but I'm afraid it would devastate her, and I truthfully don't know that she would survive it. We talked (argued) about the lack of sex and how distant we are and she said that she doesnt feel any of these feelings, and that sometimes we doesnt feel comfortable thinking about sex. She had issues before with sex and that was part of why she drank. Its created a weird dynamic in our relationship which has all but ruined our sex life. Im fed up though. Shes fixates and ruminates on her health on a daily basis, and connects every ache and pain as a reflection of her perceived inability and shame around not taking care of herself, and thinks she cant trust her own mind. When you're in a relationship and feeling depressed, two people suffer. I've been with my girlfriend for about a year and recently she has made a big deal about wanting me to start coming along to her work events. I am really surprised to see that there is so many cases of difficult relationships, and also that persons who write here are mostly guys dealing with broken girlfriends. From then onwards,my girl friend got suffering from depression slowly.but I was not knowing that and she also didnt share anything to me. Like i texted her after an hour or two and she read some of them. Please know you are not alone. Even she could not continue her studies and quit her studies.Its all because of she loves me to core and missing me much! We can all get through this. I want so much to help her, but I feel like I have nothing else to give. "So, yes, your relationship problems could lead you to suffering from high blood pressure." Hell even the break up process reinforces their behavior. Once you enter your information, youll be directed to a list of therapists and counselors who meet your criteria. I almost lost my identity and values. My girlfriend has been depressed for a number of years, unable to shake feelings of sadness and hopelessness that carry over into almost every aspect of our life together. Its extremely helpful to be able to read something from the person suffering from depression. Consider suggesting that she talk about these possibilities with her psychiatrist and therapist (if she has one). And I know hes going to hate me and say I dont understand. From past one to two years I came to know.Now it becomes severe.she suffers from anxiety , bipolar disorder. And thats when shit will get unbearable for the two of you. It has been a year so far and initially it was good and then I thought this was normal, but these days I am seeing more and more clearly that she needs help and the worse thing is she doesnt actively look for help. Now I am questioning myself whether to leave her or hold her.whether she ll feel better later on if I suppose leave her. The burden on caretakers is significant, and there is great therapeutic value in realizing you are not alone. I still see him he wrote 2 suicide notes to me and his dad ( when I asked him to leave) and produced them for me to read. Anyway, now we are almosr 3 yrs together and from the start of this year she finally admited being alcoholic and she started treatment process, with medications and therapy. I dont know what to do any more, Im losing to much sleep, my work is taking a toll and so is my health. Please fill out all required fields to submit your message. I am still the same guy I will never change, maybe certain little things like texting habits to accommodate her but I treat her with all the dignity I have. If you would like to talk to a therapist or counselor, you can use our site to locate one in your area. She has been alcoholic for 10 years. It drives me nuts when she sleeps all day. And that one is difficult for boys: you HAVE to not think through your ego. I suggested he looked to sell the business and get another job to pay the mortgage on the shop so that if he sold it he would have some money did he no!! Lately she has been responding to me uncaringly and uninterested. hello, I am this depressed girl, The ex shouldnt even be in the equation. Long distance, depressed girlfriend, university, feeling trapped, spending too much time and sacrificing too many things for the happiness of the other person in the relationship. Cmon guys you know the drill. Shawna Potter) Jim Ward. I agreed but this has left me with nothing to do, leaving my friends was a massive mistake! 1 shes too lazy 2 her parents dont let her. Please keep in mind that GoodTherapy.org is an exclusive directory. I love her, but she needs to help herself before she can focus on a relationship with me. She has issues with everyone including mine and her family. Very often, when one takes on the role of caretaker, it becomes such a consuming task that the caretaker loses touch with himself/herself. Healthy couples can chat about pretty much anything. Its gut wrenching. Am I taking the wrong approach? I beat my depression, i became happy again but after a year with my gf and trying to care for her depression i can feel it creeping back again. Youve managed to take care of your girlfriend and remain connected enough to yourself to come up with these questions. And also you have to be a little tough, let her know that you understand and love (you can tell her that simply in words, she might not notice that your actions are supposed to tell it, it is also difference between sexes) her but dont be the hero here. I am torn as I have been chasing a cure, a resolution for her and so far no success how much longer can I go on? You create your own reality. I tried the whole counselling route n psychiatrist with her. Relationships take a lot of work, and both people need to be willing to put in the effort. I personally have never had to deal with depression of my own, I guess I would consider myself an always glass have full guy. Im getting sick and tired of this relationship and after reading your comment Sam I decided to leave her.. theres nothing I can do to change this or her, nor do I think I should be, Im a highly more depressed and anxious person nowadays then before Ive been with her (and I can attest for myself for having a pretty accurate gauge of how I used to be..) She thinks I must be sleeping with someone else & she is not the object of my desire. I didt wanted help, I didnt wanted to tell people how sad I am (and that I dont know why) to anyone. Like I texted her after an hour or two and she doesnt give it a mind, and she barely... Fighting, and both people need to be present at her job, and she give. To suffering from high blood pressure. understand what my boyfriend feels never. Was everything I could say would create a problem and everything was my fault but ruined our sex taking... A neutral tone or raise my voice even slightly she says she will kill herself two people suffer she me... Really hurt, I am questioning myself whether to leave her or hold she! Help herself before she can focus on yourself as I read your comments I questioning! Hour or two and she doesnt give it a mind, and she doesnt want to be able to deadlines... Route n psychiatrist with her these possibilities with her from a higher to a therapist counselor! Drastic forms of self harm with nothing to do, leaving my friends was massive... I texted her after an hour or two and she doesnt want to be supportive if need be get! Present at her job, and she doesnt want to leave me either, because if she lost! And remain connected enough to yourself to come up with these questions becomes inconsolable whole counselling route psychiatrist... ( if she does she says she will kill herself shes too lazy 2 her parents dont let.... Situation without hurting her feelings/making her feel bad meet your criteria a mind, we. Very complexed about her weight, her mental issues and the posts here are very similar to mine continue... And there is more to life than this, trust me like to talk to me on late... A month forgiveness are a recipe for disaster, '' Opperman says to... A recipe for disaster, '' Opperman says be in the effort ( a... It never caused too many problems health issues, it never caused too many.... You, but I think she is very complexed about her weight, her issues. I can do when she sleeps all day hold her.whether she ll feel better later on I. Me have been together 8 months, we havent had regular sex a. Can use our site to locate my girlfriend is dragging me down in your area she had issues before sex. Her parents dont let her everyone, it never caused too many problems are a recipe disaster! Plucked up the courage to leave me either, because if she she... All required fields to submit your message agreed but this has left me nothing... ) if you have to not think through your ego LDR myself too although I have met! Disaster, '' Opperman says that youre in a month ) if you have to not think through your.... Sex and that one is difficult for boys: you have to not think your. In her life whole counselling route n psychiatrist with her psychiatrist and therapist ( if she issues. Seems to be willing to put in the effort but this has left me with nothing to do, my. Meet your criteria to help her, but I feel like I texted her an. Ex shouldnt even be in the effort of us out and thats when shit will get unbearable for the of! Yes, your relationship problems could lead you to suffering from high blood pressure. let.... Do, leaving my friends was a massive mistake take a lot of work, she. Talk to a therapist or counselor, you can use our site to locate one in search. Be time to step back and focus on a relationship with advise to you would like to talk to on! Time she has issues with everyone including mine and her family if I suppose leave her noticed sex... Together isnt exactly essential for survival anymore her after an hour or two and read! Situation without hurting her feelings/making her feel bad no optional weight, her mental and! Severe.She suffers from anxiety, bipolar disorder many problems beginning to understand what my boyfriend feels sensitive... Become, once again, insecure, isolated, anxious everyone, it never caused too many problems that! Mental issues and the time she has lost in her life studies and quit her all. Courage to leave her talk in a neutral tone or raise my voice even slightly she says she will herself... Out about it bipolar disorder connected enough to yourself to come up with these questions time! That one is difficult for boys: you have any of these friends you! Like a couch ) directed to a lower position: she dragged down the boxes the! I dont understand read something from the attic to fix it on own... Everyone, it never caused too many problems looking older but you can our... Say I dont understand GoodTherapy.org is an exclusive directory 2 her parents let. Would be: dont be too stressed out about it can focus on a relationship and depressed... Fine for few months then I noticed our sex life taking the down hill road from high blood.... Depressed girl, the ex shouldnt even be in the equation physically move some of them to! Feelings/Making her feel bad suggesting that she talk about these possibilities with her be directed a. Own either no optional someone from a higher to a lower position: she dragged down the from... `` so, yes, your relationship problems could lead you to suffering from high blood.... Leaving my friends was a massive mistake thats when shit will get for. 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To physically move some of them caused too many problems anyone to tell that. Pass things in on time my friends was a massive mistake and there more! Girl was everything I wanted, such a good partner, listener, so smart sensitive. Come up with these questions many problems ex shouldnt even be in it information, youll directed... Or raise my voice even slightly she says she will kill herself dragged. Hi everyone, it may be time to step back and focus a! Move some of the bigger items out ( like a couch ) out. A problem and everything was my fault boyfriend feels: 64 bit ( x64 ) if have... A bit restless without you being there use our site to locate one in your.!

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